Hi Purgatory you are spot on with saying they don't have the 'bandwidth' as it is taken by depression. In the brain they can't process information as they would normally and depending on the severity of depression will also determine the level of distortion they are trying to live with. It can completely skew their thinking in ways you would never imagine normally. At this level the only help is medication - no talk therapy will help in this area.

I won't go into so much detail here - but you can go through old posts. But I have been to hell and back with fallout and with a long marriage behind us, we are in a much better place now. Definitely not in a safe zone and I don't know if there will ever truly be that place again, I don't think so, but I am so thankful to be here now.