Hello,
I'm new here and I too am desperate.  I'm in a very similar situation. I hope you all don't mind if this post goes a little long, but I feel I need to give lots of background and I hope someone can help.  My partner of 5 years is the one who is depressed. He's been diagnosed and is on meds. The doctor is tweaking his meds because he hasn't felt relief yet.  His depression was triggered by work stress which brought out childhood abuse trauma.  We aren't married but we've been living together almost from the begining. He works in Tampa and we live in  a suburb of Orlando. It's a 3hour round trip commute each day.  It started with him not getting enough sleep because of the stress at work. Our sex life ground to a halt. I came home from errands one saturday and he told me he was leaving, had rented a room in tampa and he needed to stay there because he wasn't resting. Said every morning he went to work he wished a semi would hit him.  He checked himself into a clinic there and they put him on meds which stopped the suicidal feelings. Fast forward and he's been coming home a couple days a week and weekends. We've been going through the motions of our life. He was seeing a therapist after the clinic and she did not help. He's been seeing a psychiatrist for the meds and says they talk. He convinced himself that he doesn't need to see another therapist and it lead to a number of fights. He thinks the meds are all he needs. I convinced him to see one with me last Friday and we went. He was angry about it. He opened up a little, but I provided most of the info. When we got home we didn't talk about it. Finally that night I asked him what he thought and he said he didn't get anything from it and that he was leaving the next day. He's unhappy, i'm unhappy, He doesn't love me anymore, he doesn't have feelings for me anymore, he doesnt want to be with me anymore, he wants to be alone. I begged, I pleaded to no avail. Saturday I came back from errands and he'd left me a note saying it's not goodbye forever and he needs to find himself and he'll be back. I'm hurt and angry. He wouldn't take my calls or texts the whole weekend. We texted breifly on Monday and he saw the psych who changed his dosage and he says he told him that he left me and the doc said it was up to him. I feel like he just wants to wallow in these bad feelings and not get out of it. He's very much a loner and doesn't have friends, work friends but he doesn't hang out. When we saw the therapist he made an appt for two weeks but hasn't said affirmatively if he'll keep it. I downloaded the book the 10 best ever depression management techniques and jumped around in it and it is very informative and has "excercises" he can do. I asked him to read it and he says he will. He's only on page 48 (I can see where he is on it when i go into it on my phone). I sent him a picture last night of our frangipani tree which is flowering because he nurtured it from a cutting and he's not responded. I'm feeling so insecure about this whole thing. I don't know if he's seeing someone over there. He said he wasn't. I want to help him through this but he won't let me. I don't think he should be alone.  I'm lost, alone, confused.  We aren't married and I have nothing tangible as a symbol of commitment from him, no bank account together, no special piece of jewelry, no liability in both our names. I don't know what to do.  Help?