Wow, what a difficult time it's been for you. It sounds like he's been struggling with mental health problems for quite some time. You must be very patient to have hung in there so long.

Is he going to therapy right now at all? What about meds? Can you suggest any of this?

Unfortunately, he has to see what's happening to himself and want to get help. It sounds like perhaps he's looking for external answers as to why he's feeling the way he is, which hopefully he'll figure out aren't the answer. I'm not sure there's much you can do with his thinking currently the way it is - at least as far as your relationship is concerned. When you're talking to him now, you're likely talking to the depression.

Have you read Anne's books? You should definitely read them as they are very informative and will hopefully give you some comfort.

Hang in there.