Hi Tia

Sorry that you find yourself here.

First off, you're not crazy. Sounds like your husband is struggling with some mental health issues, and is definitely exhibiting signs of depression or bi-polar (the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde thing...oh yeah). I'm no psychiatrist, but that's what it sounds like to me. Stopping his meds cold turkey is a BAD idea. And if he doesn't want to take medication, it's only going to get worse. Is he seeing a therapist for himself at all? Would he be open to that?

People struggling with mental illness are very good at putting on a show in front of other people/their friends. So it's likely that's what's happening and they aren't seeing what's really going on.

Until he realizes something is wrong and wants to fix it, it's sad to say, but this is how things are going to continue. He needs to be the one to see he needs help and get it. In the meantime, you need to make sure you take care of yourself and your kids. If dealing with him is getting too stressful, then take some no contact and look after yourself.

Have you read Anne's books? They're very informative and will hopefully give you some comfort.

I would also be looking at the financial aspect of this. You said he's racking up credit card debt. Is that credit card in your name? Do you have joint accounts? All that kind of stuff are things you should consider and think about making some breaks financially.