I forgot to mention that yes I am reading Anne's books and I find myself shaking my head to every point. 

I am am currently looking for a job, I've been a stay at home mom and he doesn't only threaten divorce he now likes to say he will take my health insurance away (which I know he can't until enrollment time or s divorce is finalized). 

I am am seeing the same counselor we were seeing since October of last year which looking back you are right he probably was in a depressed state. Last session she sat back and just listened to all the crazy that happened for two weeks and was the one who brought up bipolar. 
I've never seen him this bad and feel the meds definitely made it worse. I write down everything he argues with me about and says, hoping that when his fog lifts he can see the destruction he has caused and realize he needs help