It is best to protect yourself and your kids, as they say women and children in the life boat first!

It is a mental illness and nothing you have done.

Well, my DH emailed and asked for my bank details so he could pay me an agreed sum per month, I had not heard from him in 3 weeks so emailed him back telling him he was forgetting things, I copied his boss in, why? Because it was his boss who told me he has D and she knows he's ill, she needed to know how bad things had got. His job has since gone, basically his boss said she could not let him go with a pay off as he was too expensive to let go, I have had to document everything for a potential lawsuit.

I emailed him in April 2014 asking him if he definitely wanted a Divorce he emailed me back on what would have been our 31st Wedding Anniversary saying he wanted a Divorce and thought he had said so, initially I admit I was very hurt and upset but you have to see the funny side, anyone who is normal would have known! lol

I got an email back from the DH saying he had not contacted me as he thought I had got the message at the couples counselling session he was not coming back (do not try couples counselling it does not work unless you have a therapist who knows exactly what they are dealing with). I now recognise his behaviour as lashing out, he didn't like hearing the truth that he has got a problem, I said if he was not coming back to send the Divorce papers. He had a solicitors letter sent to me asking to sort finances and saying our relationship had broken down. My solicitor had to ask where the Divorce papers were some 5 months later as he had never lodged any. It took him 3 weeks to respond, his solicitor stated that he thought I would lodge the papers due to his behaviour, they then came back saying they would use my unreasonable behaviour this being me telling the god parents of our children he is ill and needs help, I was also accused of potentially damaging his career but he had been doing that himself by shouting at people at work.

I told his solicitor to bring it on and I would contest a Divorce on the grounds of my unreasonable behaviour as I had done nothing wrong, I had to finally lodge the papers when I discovered the OW who is alcoholic to protect myself and our kids. This sh*te has been going on since 21st Feb 2014 and feels endless, my son came to Court with me in March, the DH did not speak to him and has not done so for 19 months, our kids are done with him and he is dead to them. My next date for Court is this December, I cannot wait for it all to be over but I have to fight and carry on for my kids future.

Does the fog lift? Well they have to have a light bulb moment which is a realisation that they need help, I had that moment and got help but with the drinking involved it is anyones guess, we've been told to expect suicide but sad as it sounds that will be my DH's lookout. I think writing an obituary for him will be very therapeutic for myself and our kids.