I'm not sure how to explain or describe how I'm feeling. Â Yesterday I had an appointment with my counselor again and she did a depression test on me and it ends up I'm in the severe/high end of it
 I'm feeling so discouraged and disappointed that it has come to this.  I'm disappointed that I haven't been able to do this on my own.  I'm sad that all of this has effected me this much and that I'm not more resilient.  I never would have thought this is where I would be.  My counselor has suggested I go on meds right away...which I'm also struggling with.  I try to live a very naturopathic lifestyle and am just unsure how I feel about taking meds.  I'm not against meds in any way and don't know why I'm resisting them.  I start my job training next week and have to be in top form to focus and concentrate.  I keep thinking once I'm in a routine again with work, and doing my daily meditation and yoga and keeping busy etc., I'll be fine and good to go. Â
In the last few days I feel as though I've noticed a slight change and improvement in myself...very minimal but it's something. Â I guess I'm nervous about potential side effects as well. Â It seems like so many of you have and are doing so well and I feel like I haven't at all. Â I have done things for myself and so that glad I did them, but am so sad that I have ended up here. Â I'm so discouraged that I have fallen, despite all my efforts in trying to keep myself from drowning.Â
In the last few days I feel as though I've noticed a slight change and improvement in myself...very minimal but it's something. Â I guess I'm nervous about potential side effects as well. Â It seems like so many of you have and are doing so well and I feel like I haven't at all. Â I have done things for myself and so that glad I did them, but am so sad that I have ended up here. Â I'm so discouraged that I have fallen, despite all my efforts in trying to keep myself from drowning.Â




