First I have to say how greatful I am to find this site and the 'Depression Fallout' book. I have ordered it but have not gotten a chance to read it yet so I appologize if this is already covered in the book.
I have been with my girlfriend who has anxiety and depression for the past 3 years. I now understand that when she lashes out and is hurtful towads me it is not her but her depression that is the problem, I am working on not taking things personally and just being there for her and holding her when she is lashing out. I feel as though this is helping my mental state, but I have been struggling with a question for a while and wanted to hear some insight. I am usually a positive person and have an optomistic outlook on life, so for the past 3 years I have been the one giving her emotional support which I am totally okay with because I know that she needs it more than I. However a few months ago I was in a situation where I was in need of emotional support, so of course, I looked towad my girlfriend. However instead of giving me the comfort that I was in need of she accused me of 'putting more stress in her life' and that I 'needed to get over it myself'. In the end, I was able to get over it myself and I have moved on from the situation, but now I feel as though when I need her she will not be there for me even when I give it to her unconditionally.
The situation itself was not really that big of a deal, I just felt extreamly uncomfortable in a job setting. But this led me to think of how she may react in other situations, What if I really trully need her in a more drastic situation? Am I always going to be on my own if I may be in need? I know that it is not her fault that she reacted the way that she did, she can't control it, but does that mean that I will never be able to count on her for support because of her emotional problems? It has made me doubt us because I'm not sure if I want to be in a relationship where I can't count on the one I love through thick and thin. I always thought that when the need arose (which isn't very often, this is the first time I have asked for her real support in the 3 years we have been together) that she would be there for me as I have been for, her but now I'm not to sure.
Any advice would be GREATLY apprieciated. Maybe a different way to approach the situation if it happens again? Or a way that I can express how I feel withough her getting angry at me? The last thing I want to do is break up but this has caused a lot of problems with us now. It's harder for me now to be there for her when she is asking for help because I feel resentment, and I don't feel comfort of saftey from her anymore. I still am there but not wholeheartedly like I was before, I want to change how I feel but I don't know how.
I have been with my girlfriend who has anxiety and depression for the past 3 years. I now understand that when she lashes out and is hurtful towads me it is not her but her depression that is the problem, I am working on not taking things personally and just being there for her and holding her when she is lashing out. I feel as though this is helping my mental state, but I have been struggling with a question for a while and wanted to hear some insight. I am usually a positive person and have an optomistic outlook on life, so for the past 3 years I have been the one giving her emotional support which I am totally okay with because I know that she needs it more than I. However a few months ago I was in a situation where I was in need of emotional support, so of course, I looked towad my girlfriend. However instead of giving me the comfort that I was in need of she accused me of 'putting more stress in her life' and that I 'needed to get over it myself'. In the end, I was able to get over it myself and I have moved on from the situation, but now I feel as though when I need her she will not be there for me even when I give it to her unconditionally.
The situation itself was not really that big of a deal, I just felt extreamly uncomfortable in a job setting. But this led me to think of how she may react in other situations, What if I really trully need her in a more drastic situation? Am I always going to be on my own if I may be in need? I know that it is not her fault that she reacted the way that she did, she can't control it, but does that mean that I will never be able to count on her for support because of her emotional problems? It has made me doubt us because I'm not sure if I want to be in a relationship where I can't count on the one I love through thick and thin. I always thought that when the need arose (which isn't very often, this is the first time I have asked for her real support in the 3 years we have been together) that she would be there for me as I have been for, her but now I'm not to sure.
Any advice would be GREATLY apprieciated. Maybe a different way to approach the situation if it happens again? Or a way that I can express how I feel withough her getting angry at me? The last thing I want to do is break up but this has caused a lot of problems with us now. It's harder for me now to be there for her when she is asking for help because I feel resentment, and I don't feel comfort of saftey from her anymore. I still am there but not wholeheartedly like I was before, I want to change how I feel but I don't know how.




