I started out on another thread, but I would like to tell my story. If I don't have some sort of catharsis soon I'll burst.
I met my wife last year. A fairy tale. Even now I have never met a woman so smart, beautiful, sexy, and passionate. She never judges me, supports whatever I do. When she was mad or irritable she didn't direct her frustration at me.
We decided to marry, plan a family. We had a small ceremony in Oct. and a honeymoon that was wonderful. I knew her history. But that's what her meds are for right?
I had no idea what I was really getting into. In the span of two weeks I was married to a cold, distracted, selfish woman. She says she doesn't know if she can be married. Maybe she was all wrong. Then it became she can't give anything to me. She can't consider anything between us. She has only enough energy for herself right now. Then it's "LEAVE ME ALONE before I make decisions that can't be altered!"
Trying to support? Poison. Try to help? Poison. Assert my needs? POISON! Help more around the house? Poison. Suggest activities? you guessed it. I am out of her life. I can't be involved in her care. I can't ask about her med regiment. I sure as hell can't ask her about suicidality. All can do is stand to the side and wait to be approached. We don't fight. We are civil. We talk about things here and there, as long as D is avoided.
I love her with all my heart and soul.Even now I can't see a day in rhis life without her. I know this is a disease process. I am getting over my hurt and found a number of outlets. Therapy. 12 step programs. Some OT at my job. But at the back of my mind 24/7 is " I'm her husband, I have to help!" I can't tell you how much of a strain it is to resist that impulse.
Can you veterans out there help? Any sage-like advice? Can I survive this? And this may seem like a stange question, but I ask having never been through an epidose of D. How are things between two people when your SO starts to recover. Is it 'weird', or is it a gradual easing into relief and comfort?
Thank you for any input.
I met my wife last year. A fairy tale. Even now I have never met a woman so smart, beautiful, sexy, and passionate. She never judges me, supports whatever I do. When she was mad or irritable she didn't direct her frustration at me.
We decided to marry, plan a family. We had a small ceremony in Oct. and a honeymoon that was wonderful. I knew her history. But that's what her meds are for right?
I had no idea what I was really getting into. In the span of two weeks I was married to a cold, distracted, selfish woman. She says she doesn't know if she can be married. Maybe she was all wrong. Then it became she can't give anything to me. She can't consider anything between us. She has only enough energy for herself right now. Then it's "LEAVE ME ALONE before I make decisions that can't be altered!"
Trying to support? Poison. Try to help? Poison. Assert my needs? POISON! Help more around the house? Poison. Suggest activities? you guessed it. I am out of her life. I can't be involved in her care. I can't ask about her med regiment. I sure as hell can't ask her about suicidality. All can do is stand to the side and wait to be approached. We don't fight. We are civil. We talk about things here and there, as long as D is avoided.
I love her with all my heart and soul.Even now I can't see a day in rhis life without her. I know this is a disease process. I am getting over my hurt and found a number of outlets. Therapy. 12 step programs. Some OT at my job. But at the back of my mind 24/7 is " I'm her husband, I have to help!" I can't tell you how much of a strain it is to resist that impulse.
Can you veterans out there help? Any sage-like advice? Can I survive this? And this may seem like a stange question, but I ask having never been through an epidose of D. How are things between two people when your SO starts to recover. Is it 'weird', or is it a gradual easing into relief and comfort?
Thank you for any input.




