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Jun 29 11 2:06 PM
bluegreenboat wrote: for me colors drain from objects where black and white takes their place. It is the black and white as in the un-color cinema photography from the early twentieth century. Similar to black and white reruns of yester years television shows. The colors are there but they are muted and they have no meaning. As an artist, your words spoke volumes to me.To me, the cruelest of symptoms of Depression is that it robs its victims of this ability. A short curcuiting of all good memories happens and leaves in its wake a dull, blank image of events and people, now ugly where once beautiful, now meaningless where once precious and now anxiety producing where once a source of comfort and solice. Can and would you share more from this vantage point with us?I agree wholeheartedly.. I suffer from depression and my doc once said, "You being formerly a musician just might add to your sensitivity levels.. Hence the reason why so many artists, writers, and musicians who suffer from this try at first to self medicate." Being on stage so many years I have always had to put on a goof face and a good show to not only the audience but to everyone around me. I was a musician for many years (back in the 60's - 70's) and to fight off any negative feelings it was easy to drink and take drugs (without a perscription of course).. It made me feel better and "speed me up" to get through the gig with energy. Eventually I had to quit the business because the booze, sex and drugs were affectng my family. After quiting I went back to school to finish my degree and went to work like "a normal person".. All the time I was doing this it was very difficult.. I would not only stop playing music, but I could not even listen to good music without wanting to have a drink or smoke a joint! So I avoided any form of music and social life outside my family.. It worked for many years but I alwasys had the urge to go back.. I never did.. I went to work for the government and was deployed to Iraq for a year.. After coming back the depression got very deep and at first they thought I was Bi-Polar and put me on Welbutrin.. Wasn't worh a crap.. The on to Seraquel.. That knocked the stuffing out of me the first month.. I was in a daze every day.. But, I got used to it and I was able to sleep like a baby at night..Still,.. when I woke up I had the deep depression.. I had heard a song by Jimmy Buffett called "Pacing The Cage", and that is exactly how I felt.. My depression was a cage. I've always liked working with videos and music on the computer so I took that song presentation and redid the video section to express how I felt.. No one but another person with depression could understand how I felt or even understand this video.. so I will share it here for all to see.. I have uploaded it on to a server:Click Here:---> http://www.trinityware.com/pacingthecage/PacingTheCage.htmlWhen first viewing this video it may download slowly trying to buffer when playing.. but after the first play it will play without any hesitation..I hope you like it, and I hope it can express those deep feelings of depresson that folks can have..More later..Tom..........
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