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Posts: 181
Feb 23 08 6:13 PM
Feb 24 08 3:04 PM
Posts: 3276
Feb 25 08 6:32 AM
Bipolar, to me, is one of the most threatening disorders there is. Not as a personal threat to others, although this may happen, but as a threat to survival. Where all of the symptoms seem bizarre, the sufferer is fighting to survive and they are reacting to the emotional roller coaster of their disorder. I don't think anyone can understand this, unless they are bipolar. I , also, don't think a tremendous amount of pressure to perform, or change, helps. In fact, it may make things worse. A written set of goals may seem logical, but the demand for this list may only be another stress, which is not needed.
Wasfunonce: In all of the seperations during my marriage, I've never felt comfortable when my wife wanted to reconcile or start again. It's not that I didn't see changes or feel hope....it's that I couldn't pinpoint the motivation. Otherwise, why the change? I can't see anything that promoted this difference and I'm really nervous about the whole situation. It adds to the discomfort that is already there. It's not a good feeling, but it's a starting point. I know that things have changed. One big change is me. I don't immediately react anymore, which has really made a difference. I have a better perspective of what's happening. Due to this, I know that I can make a huge difference if I calmly examine what happens and patiently make suggestions without demands. It's easy for me to judge and demand, but it's hard to accept this will never work and the only way things will ever change is if I change my attitude about my wife's disorder. She's fighting to survive and live. I'm fighting to help and support. Somewhere, I hope, we can find the right methods - that will always work - so we can enjoy our time together. No, every day isn't roses and violens, but every day is a learning experience. What's best: I'm sharing my life with my wife again. She's trying....I'm trying and we have a common goal. Follow your heart.
Posts: 1587
Feb 25 08 10:47 AM
Wasfunonce -Have you checked out the information and tools on the DBSA website? What is recovery? Relief of symptoms is only the first step in treating depression or bipolar disorder. The goal of your treatment is wellness and recovery---a return to a life that is meaningful to you. Recovery happens when your illness stops getting in the way of your life.You decide what recovery means to you.
At times, depression and bipolar disorder may make it seem difficult to set recovery goals for yourself. It might feel almost impossible to think about the things that you hope for or care about. But goal-setting is an important part of wellness, no matter where you are on your path to recovery. Work on what you can when you can. http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=empower_recovery
Empower Yourself While we all need to rely on the help and support of others at times, total wellness is an individual responsibility. That means getting the information we need to make informed decisions and chart our own pathways to recovery. Recovery means different things to different people. But however you define it, self-empowerment will be key to your success. http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=empower_empowerlanding
Wellness ToolboxThese tools can help you communicate better with your doctor, keep track of your symptoms and moods, record the progress you're making and help you reach recovery! http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=empower_toolbox
Developing a Wellness Toolbox by Mary Ellen Copeland http://www.mentalhealthrecovery.com/art_toolbox.php
Posts: 503
Feb 25 08 1:32 PM
Feb 25 08 3:38 PM
Feb 25 08 5:16 PM
First time my wife left, she came back from a two week vacation with her mother. She decided she wanted to return to her home town for a few more days to see relatives they missed and POOF, she called me one day to tell me she couldn't live at home anymore. I was the badman. I was the reason for her miserable life. She stayed away for about a month, and called me one evening to let me know she was coming home. We had a long conversation on the telephone before she did, but the conversation - although good - didn't remove any doubts in my heart. This was the time before she went to detox for all of the damned medications her neurologist (aka quack) prescribed. After detox, which was a terrible time for both of us, she returned home and approximately ten months passed before a small disagreement turned into: "Don't come home - or else." which involved a six week hiatus from home. I discussed issues in therapy. She discussed issues in therapy and with her pdoc. We both discussed issues in couples therapy. We worked it out, but still.....going home was with trepidation. She had things to deal with. I had things to deal with and the monster waited for another chance to jump from behind a door. Her irrational behavior was from a change in her medications. Here's what I learned: No matter what's said or done is without meaning if there is a problem with medications. They are a lifesaver when right. When wrong, you can't make heads or tails of anything. The greatest hurdle at this point is getting them back in order. You can't react with anger or judge. You have to be painfully patient and willing to work through these times. It's not anyone's fault and it's not something to wring your hands over. If you can, work with a knowledgable therapist that has a one on one with his pdoc. At this stage it's beyond personalities and issues. It's a medical problem that needs professionals with a good idea on how to progress. You have every right to be hesitant on allowing him home, although demands can be counterproductive. It's a fine line to tightrope on. You're dealing with a disorder that is forever, which requires you to forever deal with it. I can't explain how it all really comes down to you, but it does. If you are secure and focused on solutions, you can find them. If you are unwilling to be beat by the reactions you may face, you can win. His problems, although completely his, may require a unwavering self-focus of your own emotional health. Otherwise, you can't be angry over bizarre remarks or let your frustration control. Resentment is out of the question. It's like living life on an emotional cliff. If you can't bend with the wind, you'll break and fall.
Mar 3 08 7:54 PM
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