I'm not who I was. It's been a difficult process to change for the better, mostly because I was not aware of how many things besides my wife's illness were causing me problems.
There were times I wished that I had never met my wife. I was angry and resentful of what she had become and what she had done to me. I felt abandoned, neglected and wanted the envisioned peace that was my fantasy. I had no idea that my perceptions were my own and nobody elses. While it seemed unfair, which it is, fairness is relative to acceptance. In context, Mother Theresa's life could be perceived as unfair, but in reality, it was an example of hope and selflessness. She was never forced to be who she was. She choose her life, accepted her responsibility and did her work, which inspired nations. Was it fair? No. In a perfect world, nobody suffers, but in a perfect world, there isn't any emotional growth.
My choice, which I've accepted, is to continue with helping my wife. It can be tough, although the rewards of seeing her progress is encouraging. I'm not trying to imply it's the best way, but I am stating it's my choice. Others may not have this choice, but the acceptance and continued pursuit of growth is necessary no matter what the choices are.
One of the biggest blessings in my life is this site. I came here for comfort, but found it wasn't here to find, unless I was willing to change. I was somebody else then. I realize now I don't like who I was.
There were times I wished that I had never met my wife. I was angry and resentful of what she had become and what she had done to me. I felt abandoned, neglected and wanted the envisioned peace that was my fantasy. I had no idea that my perceptions were my own and nobody elses. While it seemed unfair, which it is, fairness is relative to acceptance. In context, Mother Theresa's life could be perceived as unfair, but in reality, it was an example of hope and selflessness. She was never forced to be who she was. She choose her life, accepted her responsibility and did her work, which inspired nations. Was it fair? No. In a perfect world, nobody suffers, but in a perfect world, there isn't any emotional growth.
My choice, which I've accepted, is to continue with helping my wife. It can be tough, although the rewards of seeing her progress is encouraging. I'm not trying to imply it's the best way, but I am stating it's my choice. Others may not have this choice, but the acceptance and continued pursuit of growth is necessary no matter what the choices are.
One of the biggest blessings in my life is this site. I came here for comfort, but found it wasn't here to find, unless I was willing to change. I was somebody else then. I realize now I don't like who I was.




