Hi. This is my first time posting, but I've been reading post on and off for months, since finding this web site. I have almost completed Depression
Fallout and couldn't believe how so many stories sound exactly like my life. I was quite relieved honestly. I've been married for six years to a
wonderful caring man, who I believe suffers from Depression. He lost his mother at age 5 from cancer and was raised by a military father. Just like a lot of
the stories I read, everything started off great, and then BOOM he says...he's not sure why he married me and if we should even be married. Well, the
first time this happend it felt like I was hit by a car, because I didn't understand what was going on. I kept telling him that if we were that bad
off-wouldn't I be feeling it too? For six years honestly, I've been the one searching for answers....we did a little bit of marriage counseling right
as we got married, he tried anti-depressants for a little while, but then said he didn't like how they made him feel. Now, we have a two year old
girl...who he adores and sometimes I think that she is the only thing that brings joy to him. He has such a short temper, he is constantly negative, and again
last night he told me that he wanted his life back, he wanted to wash his hands of this marriage, and that he gets nothing from this marriage. I just looked
at him with no reaction, just shook my head, and said okay. When I ask him what he wants me to do...he says, I don't know. I just feel numb all over
again. I think to myself...can I really go years of this? Over the years, I just feel this depression has just chipped away at me and I sometimes don't
even know who I am anymore. I have a hard time remembering when I even laughed. I worry about our daughter and how this will effect her and what do I do as a
Mom to make sure she is okay. She has even told him...Daddy, we don't shout, Daddy we don't throw things, Daddy are you okay??? So, she is already
noticing this stuff. I bought Anne's book for me and I am reading to understand, but shouldn't he be doing something too to get better? I never know
what is the right time to talk to him about it, because of the anger. Now that he is in the "bad place" as I like to call it-I know it is not the
right time, but from here I don't know what to say or do. Again, I want to tell him that I love him and wish there was something I could do to make him to
not feel bad, but again I don't know if this is the right thing to do or not. I would appreciate any advice from anyone on what to do now. Thanks for
listening.




