Well, I guess that's for those of us in the states. But holidays are coming up for everyone, no matter where you live. And we've talked about how they affect our loved ones with D. So I'll start. My DH goes on Monday for his pdoc appt and new meds. Yay! We weathered through Thanksgiving. His parents were horrid to him, via email. They didn't call. And he's not calling them as they've been absent from his life, and the little they've been around via email, it's been to be nasty to him or ignore him. Then his mother emails him a drunk mean email about how he can't be miserable when she's the one who's depressed and unhappy. Like her misery is supposed to trump the fact he has depression. And she wonders where he gets it from! Luckily, my DH notices how he gets it from them now. How he's learned and taken steps to move past it and to handle it. And so it didn't bother him this year.
My parents on the other hand had an episode while they were staying with us, where their dog kept biting my son. Yes, biting! And my step dad got mad that I was upset! haha. Nice huh? So it become this big drama. Where they were going to leave the night before Thanksgiving. I didn't care. I knew I was right in not allowing my child to be bitten by a dog! So I was willing to let them leave. By the next day, the holiday, my mom had apologized and totally understood. My step dad doesn't, but was being cordial at least. But this drama had started to send my DH into D and he hid in the bedroom. Which was a bummer because we were doing so well together. Such a team! So I went to him and just said, I understand the drama is hard on him, but if he can at all see a way through it, it would be nice for our son and I to have him make it a great holiday. He said, he couldn't help it. And I said, I know, but if you can. And I gave him affection. That was enough to pull him out of it. I think because I didn't demand it or expect it, just said if he could. So we had a great holiday in the end.
He thanked me many times. And even saw how weak my mom was through what her husband did. And noticed how weak his own mom was with things that happened that day and weeks before with his dad. And he said, I'm so glad you don't let me act that way. He was talking about the boundaries I've set. And when I demand him to speak nicer to me, even when he's in a D episode. And I demand he apologize when he does. And he said, if I hadn't been that way to him, he'd be as bad as my step dad and his own dad, in the way they treat their wives. Really interesting to hear he was glad for that. Who would have thought?
Any way. That's my story. Look forward to hearing others.




