15 months ago a light switch was turned off. It happened without warning. The switch was flipped and my husband was turned off.
I married the most wonderful man. We were best friends. He adored me and I him. We traveled all over Europe together. After 6 years we decided it was time to start a family. We had three beautiful children. Our lives sped up. My husband advanced in his career at break-neck speed. We bought our dream home. Our time together became short as he balanced a very stressful job and I three chhildren and two part-time jobs. Our relationship was not perfect, but it was good-enough! Despite what his depression tells hime now, I know we were happy.
15 months ago by husband quit our relationship. No more touching, talking, supporting, caring. Workaholism set in. He started working 12 hour days and then working 12 hours per weekend. He comes home after a 12 hour day and works until way into the morning hours.
And then came the bomb. He didn't love me anymore and was so unhappy. He wanted to leave and find himself. He couldn't understand how I did not see that WE had been so unhappy for years??? Where had the caring, campasionate man gone? His personality changed:
- Obsession with passwords and security questions of all technology accounts
- Inappropriate phone calls to a female co-worker
- Blaming me for the breakdown of our marriage
- AVOIDANCE
- No imtimacy for 15 months
- Complete rejection of any physical touch...shoulder rub, hand hold, touch on the shoulder
- I had not loved him for years
- I did not have any respect for his work or career
- Hiding his use of Internet porn
- anger and pessimism
- short temper
- breakdown of all relationships...friends, family, children
- Weight loss
- Hair loss
- Sleep loss
- the life of the party became anti-social
- loss of spirituality and faith
Today a light switch was turned back on. My husband has not been switched back on, it is me. The light is now on and I can see that my husband is depressed. The Depression Fallout has turned on the light and made me realize that I am right. I am not to blame. We WERE happy. I have caused none of this. I am still a good person. My husband is sick. He is in there somewhere. The man I loved and married and want to spend my life with is in there. Now that I am out of the dark I hope I can help him find his light switch and turn himself back on!
Pray for me and for him.




