So, a new development.
Ex DSO has made contact. (Recap, we became officially "ex-ed" a month ago after he melted down, believing that being in a relationship is the reason for his depression, but could we take a break and also be friends so he could concentrate on work, which will make him all better. I said No, all relationship is over, and we haven't spoken since).
He came to my door with a speech all prepared and written. Summary: "I've tried it my way and I'm not getting better. I tried resting to make it go away. I tried going on a vacation to make it go away. And I tried ending my relationship with you to make it go away, and nothing has worked. So I am going to see a phychiatrist (appointment is today actually) and I am going to try therapy. I've had time to give this all a lot of thought and I think I've been struggling with depression (actually said the D word) and anxiety for a long time. Way before you ever came around so it has nothing to do with you. You were just trying to help. I'm sorry for how I've mistreated you. I want to find out what exactly is wrong and fix it and if it means taking pills for the rest of my life, then so what, as long as I have a life. "
I have been invited to the phychiatry appointments and therapy sessions if I wish. He also said a lot about his strong feelings for me, missing me etc. but I ended that part of the conversation and said that needs to be put on the shelf for now. "Concentrate on getting better, that needs to be your first and only job right now" said I.
So, fallout veterans out there, can you help me out? Have you seen this type of declaration before? Does it mean the end of denial and the start of recovery or is it just another ticket for the merry go round? Agreeing to go to therapy and booking the appointments himself is a MAJOR shift in thinking, as is going to an actual psychiatrist, (instead of trying to get some sleeping medication from his (incompetent) GP). I have already decided that any romantic relationship is OFF the table until he gets stable and recovers because I will not get back on the rollercoaster and I know his feelings will still be shifting around for a long time. Unfortunately for me, I do love the man, so it's not so easy to go "good for you" and run off.
I guess I am hoping that he will recover and we could have our relationship back at some point. Is that a naive hope?
Ex DSO has made contact. (Recap, we became officially "ex-ed" a month ago after he melted down, believing that being in a relationship is the reason for his depression, but could we take a break and also be friends so he could concentrate on work, which will make him all better. I said No, all relationship is over, and we haven't spoken since).
He came to my door with a speech all prepared and written. Summary: "I've tried it my way and I'm not getting better. I tried resting to make it go away. I tried going on a vacation to make it go away. And I tried ending my relationship with you to make it go away, and nothing has worked. So I am going to see a phychiatrist (appointment is today actually) and I am going to try therapy. I've had time to give this all a lot of thought and I think I've been struggling with depression (actually said the D word) and anxiety for a long time. Way before you ever came around so it has nothing to do with you. You were just trying to help. I'm sorry for how I've mistreated you. I want to find out what exactly is wrong and fix it and if it means taking pills for the rest of my life, then so what, as long as I have a life. "
I have been invited to the phychiatry appointments and therapy sessions if I wish. He also said a lot about his strong feelings for me, missing me etc. but I ended that part of the conversation and said that needs to be put on the shelf for now. "Concentrate on getting better, that needs to be your first and only job right now" said I.
So, fallout veterans out there, can you help me out? Have you seen this type of declaration before? Does it mean the end of denial and the start of recovery or is it just another ticket for the merry go round? Agreeing to go to therapy and booking the appointments himself is a MAJOR shift in thinking, as is going to an actual psychiatrist, (instead of trying to get some sleeping medication from his (incompetent) GP). I have already decided that any romantic relationship is OFF the table until he gets stable and recovers because I will not get back on the rollercoaster and I know his feelings will still be shifting around for a long time. Unfortunately for me, I do love the man, so it's not so easy to go "good for you" and run off.
I guess I am hoping that he will recover and we could have our relationship back at some point. Is that a naive hope?




