Hello, I apologize if this is a bit of a hectic post.
Both myself and my significant other have suffered from depression fallout, because of each other. We have known each other for
three years, meeting when I joined the military. We have been living together for close to 1 and a half years. Now, both of us have been
fully conscious of each others past and current difficulties with depression. I joined the military because of a hugely abusive, neglectful, and
selfish family. I was literally ecstatic to start basic military training, if that says anything. I knew that she also had a troubled past, one as least
as bad as mine. Now, because we knew this we started on books like Emotional Intelligence, The Road Less Traveled, Mars and Venus,
Depression Fallout, etc.
We have been living with each other for a year and a half, and our cooperation has paid off with increasingly better communication
and coping. We could empathize with each other, and help each other out on some of our deepest issues. I have seen improvement in both
myself and her over time, and it has been great. However, I am really worried now.
Before we moved in together, I made it known that I planned on using my military college assistance to pay for a bachelors degree.
After I moved in, I decided that I would need more funds to uphold my side of financial responsibility, so I worked at some manufacturing
plants for a while. During this time, the recession was beginning and her field was beginning to shake bad. She lost the job that she had been
in for several years, reduced to working for places that did not appreciate her skill. The lost job was also attributed to the fact that her employer
found out that she had an old back injury, and wanted to avoid any claims issues by firing her.
Since then, she has steadily gotten worse as far as depression goes. It was very gradual at first, but now that she has been out of work for at
least a year and were barely surviving, her depression has been skyrocketing. She went from having a few bad days, to telling me (today) that
she has no good days. I have caught her literally trying to beat herself for being such a 'stupid' person, and have constantly tried to remind her of
how capable she is. She sleeps in late, says that she has no energy. On top of the job issue, we have had misfortune after misfortune happen
in regard to our house. Damages and costs beyond what we can afford, along with a new city assessment for several thousand.
She has been asking me why I stay around, telling me that she isn't worth it at times, and in general putting herself down. And it is tearing
me up. I know she is an extremely intelligent and capable person. She is honest, ethical, and in general good person who just wants to
work hard and live in peace. We get along extremely well in this regard, with shared goals interests and motivation. But I feel like she is
slowly giving up on herself and us. Neither of us have any family to talk to, because I stopped speaking with mine and hers is delusional.
We have very few friends, and those friends aren't very close. I have tried to get her several times recently to post to this board and try
to find someone to talk to about this, besides just me.
I have recently begun setting up boundaries, forcing her to do her workouts. I told her to make a list of the vital, survival things to
get done in regard to the house and to set up her own time restrictions on herself, to get things done even if she has no energy. I am
getting tired of arguing with her about her worth, and I care too much to just extricate myself because she is going through a difficult time.
However, I am failing one of my core courses now, and feel that I have to get more strict and serious in managing this situation.
I have encouraged her for a long time to seek counseling, but because she lost her job she also lost her health insurance, let alone
all the other financial difficulties we have.
Because I am a full time college student, I receive several free counseling sessions per semester and am now putting them to use.
The counselor said I had "Dysthymia" I think, and am taking Wellbutrin now. However, I cant help but wish that my lady could be
the one putting this to use.
What has really worried me the most is her saying that the last time she was in this dark a mood, she got taken to the
hospital. I don't like what she is implying.
If you have read this far, I appreciate your patience. My goal is to solve the situation, and I could use some advice..
-BetterLegacy
Both myself and my significant other have suffered from depression fallout, because of each other. We have known each other for
three years, meeting when I joined the military. We have been living together for close to 1 and a half years. Now, both of us have been
fully conscious of each others past and current difficulties with depression. I joined the military because of a hugely abusive, neglectful, and
selfish family. I was literally ecstatic to start basic military training, if that says anything. I knew that she also had a troubled past, one as least
as bad as mine. Now, because we knew this we started on books like Emotional Intelligence, The Road Less Traveled, Mars and Venus,
Depression Fallout, etc.
We have been living with each other for a year and a half, and our cooperation has paid off with increasingly better communication
and coping. We could empathize with each other, and help each other out on some of our deepest issues. I have seen improvement in both
myself and her over time, and it has been great. However, I am really worried now.
Before we moved in together, I made it known that I planned on using my military college assistance to pay for a bachelors degree.
After I moved in, I decided that I would need more funds to uphold my side of financial responsibility, so I worked at some manufacturing
plants for a while. During this time, the recession was beginning and her field was beginning to shake bad. She lost the job that she had been
in for several years, reduced to working for places that did not appreciate her skill. The lost job was also attributed to the fact that her employer
found out that she had an old back injury, and wanted to avoid any claims issues by firing her.
Since then, she has steadily gotten worse as far as depression goes. It was very gradual at first, but now that she has been out of work for at
least a year and were barely surviving, her depression has been skyrocketing. She went from having a few bad days, to telling me (today) that
she has no good days. I have caught her literally trying to beat herself for being such a 'stupid' person, and have constantly tried to remind her of
how capable she is. She sleeps in late, says that she has no energy. On top of the job issue, we have had misfortune after misfortune happen
in regard to our house. Damages and costs beyond what we can afford, along with a new city assessment for several thousand.
She has been asking me why I stay around, telling me that she isn't worth it at times, and in general putting herself down. And it is tearing
me up. I know she is an extremely intelligent and capable person. She is honest, ethical, and in general good person who just wants to
work hard and live in peace. We get along extremely well in this regard, with shared goals interests and motivation. But I feel like she is
slowly giving up on herself and us. Neither of us have any family to talk to, because I stopped speaking with mine and hers is delusional.
We have very few friends, and those friends aren't very close. I have tried to get her several times recently to post to this board and try
to find someone to talk to about this, besides just me.
I have recently begun setting up boundaries, forcing her to do her workouts. I told her to make a list of the vital, survival things to
get done in regard to the house and to set up her own time restrictions on herself, to get things done even if she has no energy. I am
getting tired of arguing with her about her worth, and I care too much to just extricate myself because she is going through a difficult time.
However, I am failing one of my core courses now, and feel that I have to get more strict and serious in managing this situation.
I have encouraged her for a long time to seek counseling, but because she lost her job she also lost her health insurance, let alone
all the other financial difficulties we have.
Because I am a full time college student, I receive several free counseling sessions per semester and am now putting them to use.
The counselor said I had "Dysthymia" I think, and am taking Wellbutrin now. However, I cant help but wish that my lady could be
the one putting this to use.
What has really worried me the most is her saying that the last time she was in this dark a mood, she got taken to the
hospital. I don't like what she is implying.
If you have read this far, I appreciate your patience. My goal is to solve the situation, and I could use some advice..
-BetterLegacy




