This is what I feel and wrote and probably will not send (that is unless I get the overwhelming majority of you all chanting "do it, do it"
We have a choice what road we want to go down. We can continue to go down the road we have unfortunately started and end up in a heated and expensive divorce or we can be reasonable. Way back at the start of our problems when I suggested counseling you stated it was a waste of time and money. Question…what do you think all this has been? Here we are almost 18 months later still “married” and spending thousands of dollars with nothing resolved yet.
We could have done this for a couple hundred bucks a piece and been done with it, both free to move on to restart our lives and without all the resentment that this situation is creating. But negotiation involves give and take, GIVE and take…not just take. And all you have done so far is take. I have checked whatever “control” issues you accused me of having at the door for the sake of the kids, perhaps you should have done the same.
I have a few words for you and I hope you can hear and understand them well. You and anyone else you have fueling this dysfunctional behavior can do all you want to “nuke” me….but when the explosion is done and the dust clears, I am still going to be standing and we still have to find a way to co-exist in our lives for the next 15 years whether we like it or not. I will NEVER disappear on my kids no matter how difficult you attempt to make the situation for me so I guess you need to decide what type of relationship that you want the kids to witness between us over the years, peaceful indifference and coexistence, or constant conflict and tension. I don’t want to interact with your or talk to you anything other than what we have to as far as the kids are concerned because I don’t care to interact with the person you have become, but at least I am not trying to interfere with your opportunity to be a parent, or control and manipulate it.
This is not meant to sound like a guilt trip even though I am sure you will see it as one but for all the things we went through together and for all the good things we once shared, that is a !*@*!%%@ way to treat me. Stomp on the shattered remains of the marriage/relationship all you want since no more damage can be done to it anyway, but to get in the way of mine and our son’s relationship is a level of nastiness I never imagined you were capable of. I deserve better, and more importantly, our son deserves better, but you are unable to see beyond your own desires and emotions.
Your thoughts and emotions after your parents split may have been confined to a journal and your mind, I don’t know….his however are not. You don’t know what it is like to hear your son cry or say “I want to stay with you” every time I have to return him or to ask me why I never visit him at lunch time anymore and not be able to give him a straight answer because I am trying not to make you or your mother look bad by saying you no longer allow it. These are the outcomes of your actions and it is about time that you face them instead of living in a world where others enable you into thinking of me as satan and you as absolutely in the right. Open your eyes. You can’t even see that those that encourage you are the very people that you once didn’t think enough of or trust to be your grandmothers power of attorney. But they agree with you now so I guess that is all that counts, right?
I told you at the start of all this that I have no reservations about going into whatever debt I need to in order to secure my time, my rights, and my relationship with my son. None of that has changed…if anything, your behavior and manipulation of the situation since this all began has strengthened my resolve even more. Throw in the strength of mine and his relationship and his wishes to spend more time together and I have all the motivation I need. If I lose the house, I lose the house…if I go further into debt, I go further into debt. My pride and my finances will always finish a distant second and third to my son so if you think by stretching this out longer you will get me to submit because I am worried about protecting an excellent credit rating or maintaining my pride by not borrowing whatever resources I need to, then think again. Guess you didn’t know me as good as you thought either if you thought I value finances and personal pride over my family.
I am not your ex brother-in-law so when you come up with a settlement, don’t offer me your sister and him agreed to You might want to relive your mother and sister’s life…I don’t.
Your idea of compromise so far has been a joke so if you want to take the distance, then be prepared to run a marathon because I sure as hell am. Or you can do the right thing and start thinking about something beyond yourself. Your call Miss (maiden name here)




