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Posts: 654
Jan 14 13 7:35 AM
Posts: 1062
Jan 14 13 9:45 AM
Proptart:
Depression is a fickle thing. When you are deep in depression, you know something is wrong.
· Your passions disappear
· You get irritated all the time
· You may start crying at no reason
· You just want to sleep (sometimes not wanting to wake up)
· Shame replaces any form of confidence
· An overwhelming feeling of worthlessness comes over you
· Your feelings are consumed by AA (Anger,Apathy)
o Anyone asking for an opinion you either feel AA
o Anyone wants you to do a favor you feel AA
o Anyone want you to go get help you feel AA
o Etc , etc
What complicates this is if the depressed person is a man. A poster on this forum, Vin mentioned that there maybe a correlation with depression and testosterone levels. I also think that how ingrained male gender roles have been learned by the depressed person will have an effect. I think there is one person on this forum who’s depressed S.O. grew up in a military family. Look at how contradictory traditional military roles conflict with healing depression.
· Pain is weakness leaving the body
· 2nd place is the 1st loser
· Don’t be a pansy cryin to yer mama
· Suck it up soldier
· Etc etc
So when I mention caring and apathy: the depressed usually wants to do something, but doesn’t know how. His/her opinions are so clouded that basic decisions are difficult.
· It becomes easier to be apathetic.
· Like asking, “where to go for dinner?”
· Opinions based questions “Do you like the red one or the blue one?
Because the depressed knows something is wrong, they are trying to overcome AA. They don’t know how, and there is probably a chemical inbalance in the brain preventing them from feeling good things. Does this make ssense? I am only 1 opinion. Let me know how else I can help.
-Wrong way
Jan 14 13 10:12 AM
Jan 14 13 10:24 AM
Update:
I want sex. Did I mention about sex? How about sex?
Jeez, The side effects for my medication are: ED & lowered libido.
Wrongway looking downwards:
· E.D. nope
· Lowered libido. Errrr I hope it doesn’t get any higher.
Any man reading this post I hope you have better success in this subject matter. Other than……y’know…..chokin the chicken, I don’t know what to make of this. Doctor says it is normal if you were like this before your depression. I was like this, but I thought I outgrew it. I didn’t think depression suppressed it.
I just thought people should know.
*random thought*
While depressed, do people cheat to feel something other than AA?
Wrong Way (Don’t’ go the Wrong Way)
Jan 14 13 6:21 PM
♫ Forward yesterday Makes me wanna stay What they said was real Makes me wanna steal Livin' under house Guess I'm livin', I'm a mouse All's I gots is time Got no meaning, just a rhyme Take time with a wounded hand 'Cause it likes to heal Take time with a wounded hand 'Cause I like to steal Take time with a wounded hand 'Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal I'm half the man I used to be This I feel as the dawn It fades to gray Well, I'm half the man I used to be This I feel as the dawn It fades to gray Well, I'm half the man I used to be This I feel as the dawn It fades to gray Well, I'm half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be Feelin' uninspired Think I'll start a fire Everybody run Bobby's got a gun Think you're kinda neat Then she tells me I'm a creep Friends don't mean a thing Guess I'll leave it up to me Take time with a wounded hand 'Cause it likes to heal Take time with a wounded hand Guess I like to steal Take time with a wounded hand 'Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal I'm half the man I used to be This I feel as the dawn It fades to gray I'm half the man I used to be This I feel as the dawn It fades to gray I'm half the man I used to be This I feel as the dawn It fades to gray I'm half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be Take time with a wounded hand 'Cause it likes to heal Take time with a wounded hand Guess I like to steal Take time with a wounded hand 'Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal I'm half the man I used to be This I feel as the dawn It fades to gray I'm half the man I used to be This I feel as the dawn It fades to gray I'm half the man I used to be This I feel as the dawn It fades to gray I'm half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be, Half the man I used to be♫
Jan 14 13 7:07 PM
Jan 14 13 7:14 PM
Posts: 304
Jan 15 13 8:48 AM
Jan 15 13 10:27 AM
HF:
I don't think this is pent up frustration. I used to be like this before my 20% depression. The only thing that is different is that ....errrr......i can't ....y'know.....achieve climax in a reasonable time.
1. Without toys: 1-3 hours. Bruising myself
2. With toys….40 min ( Thank god )
Posts: 382
Jan 15 13 11:15 AM
Jan 15 13 11:24 AM
Posts: 147
Jan 15 13 12:23 PM
Jan 15 13 2:14 PM
alicea wrote:
WW, Would it have been better/made him feel better if I made all the decisions for both of us, did everything for both of us, and force my opinions and preferences on him? Wouldn't he have felt that I was being selfish and had no respect for him?
It’s a fine line. There were times where I felt better and wanted to pipe in my opinion. The deeper the depression, the less I wanted to decide on things. I think to be aware is enough. If you start asking for an opinion and he begins to scowl….then I would just back away, and say “nevermind.”
Jan 15 13 2:21 PM
Lexi:
Trust me. I am not complaining. I think it’s a good sided effect. D@mn already in mid-life crisis?!?!? I thought I had 10 more years before that……
Jan 21 13 9:47 PM
Posts: 139
Jan 22 13 2:03 PM
Posts: 394
Jan 22 13 5:03 PM
Jan 22 13 6:19 PM
Sorting thoughts:
The following are my feelings today and condition of my mood for this week while I am away from home. I am on a company event far from home. My company only has 380 employees. Many employees have 10+ years of work history with this company. Many of them know every single person in this company.
· My mood is positive and moderately upbeat.
· I noticed one thing about myself:
-Anytime we had a reading/writing assignment. My mind would begin to blur out. It was almost my mental fogginess came back.
-In some moments I almost wanted to go to sleep.
-I have to mention this to doctor. I have no idea what this means
· Mental clarity this week: 92%
· Noticed that I am slightly uncomfortable because I do not know anyone except a few employees (about 10). I will consider this normal, right?
So these are my thoughts from a recovering depressed person.
· I still have the same feelings for my wife as before the trip. She is a good friend, but I no longer have lustful feelings.
· Her intimate advances actually repulse me. I can’t switch this feeling off.
· I am worried about her condition as she is depressed as a result of my clinical depression.
· I want to make sure she is in a better place before making any decision(s).
Jan 25 13 7:37 PM
At someone’s request, I decided to characterize my levels of depression. Please remember that this is only from my point of view.
· 5%-20%: I think everyone can experience these levels. This is what I call the mental clarity zone. You can make decisions. 20% mental fogginess is usually when someone close has died; fail a test; disappoint a close relative; etc.
· 21%-30%: Depressed person feels “off.” Sexual drive maybe affected. May not be able to feel optimistic. Still can be outwardly functional at work. Some people may see this level as just “stressed from work.”
· 31%-40%: Some performance issues at work. Definite mood changes at home.
o Being defensive
o Inability to accept constructive criticism
o Cognitive functions are slowed.
o Depressed may feel sluggish
o Mental fogginess is in full effects
· 41%-50%: Anger is introduced
o Anger towards themselves & others
o Clear dissatisfaction for their situation
o May seem like a complainer
o Proverbial Doom & gloom cloud always hovering
o May require medication at this point
· 51%-60%: Unpleasant to be around. Apathy is introduced. My guess is that many will strive to feel any way possible. The following may be some of the ways the depressed will attempt to feel an emotion other than apathy or anger.
o Having an affair
o Cutting themselves
o Contemplate suicide or begin to threaten with suicide for attention
o Gambling
o Behaviors which may harm themselves
o Uncontrolled spending
· 61%-70%
o Sleeping patterns affected.
o Never enough energy to do daily tasks.
o Seems lazy
o Begins to cry without reason
o Self hate begins to permeate through EVERY thought
· 71%-80%
o Paranoia about the world is against their every action
· 81%-90%:
o The whole world is wrong in their eyes.
o “There is nothing good”
o There is only pain and apathy
o Crying profusely
· 90-100%:
o Hard to shower or even get out of bed.
o Maybe certain hygienic issues because of such overwhelming apathy.
o In some instances emotional pain is so great that the depressed may attempt suicide. (I was lucky. I did not have these thoughts)
o Serious medical attention is required
Jan 25 13 9:13 PM
I am adjusting to my next round of medication and adjustments.
Doctor reduced my anti depressant Cymbalta from 90mg to 60mg
Added 100mg of Lamictil : mood stabilizer
Added 5 mg of abilify: anti psychotic (explains a lot)
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