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Jan 26 13 2:35 PM
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Jan 26 13 5:53 PM
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Jan 26 13 8:15 PM
Jan 26 13 9:32 PM
Jan 30 13 10:49 AM
Okay.....
****reminder****
look at medication labels VERY CAREFULLY!!!
mood stabilizer was supposed to be 50mg twice a day.
I was taking 100 mg once a day.
Need to spread out stabilzer throughout the day to stop crying.
Doc even said if I need to do 75 day time and 25 night time, that might be beneficial.
Therapy has also been helpful. Sorting my feelings and how I feel for my wife. It looks like my feelings had changed while I was depressed. I will still help my wife get into a better place.
I have a feeling that it’s about to get ugly…..
Wish me luck
Jan 30 13 3:38 PM
Feb 2 13 9:43 PM
Erin,
Thanks for your concern. I definitely feel better. Amazing that the dosage at a certain time of day can help with mental clarity.*whew* back to 85%-95% mental clarity. What a relief.
I even had a date night with wife.
Just a nice relaxing evening out. Very enjoyable.
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Feb 2 13 10:02 PM
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Feb 3 13 6:43 AM
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Feb 3 13 10:21 AM
Feb 3 13 3:08 PM
*****Medication Tip*****I found out that even medication taken at certain times of the day will affect mood and feelings. i am not a proponent of medication to solve everything, but when necessary, I will take them. In my case, i really needed them to get myself out of depression. I think my doctor is suggesting I am bipolar II. My mood stabilizer seems to be working and I have played with the times of dosages before complaining about the results. I hate upping the dosages if possible.Now I will tell my doctor when I go to work , so not to affect my work performance.Thanks to my sister who suggested taking some of my meds at a different time of day. I feel a lot better!!!! *Whew*Note: this won't change feelings but will add to mental clarity and positive mood.
Feb 4 13 6:55 PM
Feb 4 13 7:20 PM
Feb 4 13 9:54 PM
Posts: 252
Feb 7 13 8:02 PM
Feb 7 13 10:59 PM
Feb 8 13 5:00 AM
Okay….really weird thought. “Am I afraid to be happy?’
Yeah. I am . I’ve been so depressed for so long, I almost don’t know what to do with it. I don’t mean euphoria, but rather I am shying away a little bit. I can’t figure why except …maybe I haven’t felt happy in so long that I don’t know what to expect from it. I honestly can say last time I was really happy was before I got married. That is a sad thing to say. I do remember great times dating my wife. Sadly those memories are far much better than the ones I have with my wife while we are married. I’m not saying we didn’t have ‘good’ times, but to be happy….I honestly don’t think i have had a happy marriage. I know things are not supposed to be perfect, but even in mental clarity since September, I can’t think of a week where I was honestly happy………I remember 1 trip in 2006…..but sadly….that’s all. All the rest was…..just ‘okay.’ Or have I been that depressed for that long……maybe my MDE was longer than I thought.
I really miss being in a good mood. I’ve been so unhappy for so long that I am afraid of what might become of us. She refuses therapy, and I feel somewhat responsible. I mean no sex for 8+ years.. Thinking about that makes me depressed. ( Whispering to myself, “go to my happy place.”) I don’t want to be unhappy before. I think that
Inability to cope with stress + Bad situations + chemical imbalance = depression. I really hate saying this. I am enjoying my time while I am not with my wife than when I am with her. My observation of her is:
Being with depressed husband + no sex for 8 years + father dying + only one who can handle mother’s depression = MDE.
She is in perfect denial. She refuses to acknowledge her depression. This week I implored her to go see a dr or therapist. She has continued to refuse. I do not want to have an ultimatum, but I might have to go that route. What do you guys think? I mentioned now 3 times in the last week about marriage counseling but she refuses to go. “I don’t have a problem!” she screams at me. I try to inform her that our marriage is in jeopardy , and she walks away crying going back to playing her ipad. (++%% thing I want to break it)
It’s weird how much sadness and depression I can pick up from people, now. It’s almost like when I quit smoking. Anyone who just smoked a cigarette, I was much more sensitive to smoke , now than I was before smoking. My wife reeks of depression and sadness. *groan*
Thoughts…..suggestions? I think mino and I switched sides. I am now definitely part of the fallout crew. This sux!
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