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Posts: 1062
Feb 9 13 4:20 AM
Yeah...I usually us ms word, and save periodically if it is a long post. Plus my eyesight isn’t as good as it used to be.
Posts: 252
Feb 9 13 11:22 AM
Posts: 394
Feb 9 13 1:52 PM
Feb 9 13 2:03 PM
Beenthere. Trust me. I feel your pain. I know how hard it is to keep every foot forward. I know some days I just want to sleep. I want to sleep and never wake up. You found the right place. I never knew how much telling people my story has helped others.
No one understands us except a rare few.
No one knows our shame.
Keep writing/typing.
Never let the tale stop. Never stop moving. I am here with you. We can beat this fr!ggin disease. Makes me mad I lost so many years. How long were you depressed before you got help? My last Major Depressed Episode MDE lasted 8 + years.
Let’s get out of this sh!th0le together. One hour at a time/ one day at a time/ one week at a time…..
Feb 9 13 3:42 PM
Feb 9 13 6:03 PM
Okay….finally realized something….
ƒNo intimacy x ((Me + depression for 8 years) + (Wife + living with depressed husband for 8 years)) / Poor communication = Growing apart for 8 years.
I don’t know if this can be repaired. I am …sadly…..repulsed by my wife…. I fear the ending or separation will be inevitable. I know our relationship is not an equation, but this makes the most sense to me.
I have to see doc in 2 weeks to confirm stability of medication. If it is so, then a trial separation maybe due after telling her truth about OW and my change in feelings.
WW ( Don’t go the wrong way)
Feb 9 13 8:04 PM
Feb 9 13 8:56 PM
Feb 9 13 9:47 PM
i may not have a choice if I tell her the truth.
Posts: 203
Feb 9 13 11:32 PM
Feb 10 13 12:45 AM
How do I have her postpone any intimacy then? Every day she talks about having children, and how much she suspects that I am cheating. She also mentions that in order for us to have children that we have to have sex at the proper time (command performance.) No pressure, right? On top of this I am avoiding from throwing up because I find her mentally and physically unattractive, and she is constantly trying to initiate sex. It doesn't help that she found my self gratification sex toys, so I can't use no sex as an excuse anymore. Any suggestions? Any comments?
Posts: 455
Feb 10 13 6:10 AM
Posts: 129
Feb 10 13 6:26 AM
Feb 10 13 6:50 AM
Oron: I know…I just am naturally blunt. (not a good thing at times) my wife gained almost 100lbs on a 5ft 1 inch frame. I gained 50….but now I have lost 30 of those pounds. Even though I still have 20 lbs to go, I am smaller than when we first met. (She is not happy with that). There are a lot more complications with what is going on with her personally that is affecting her personality. She is in an industry that makes her angry everyday. She comes home and snaps at me. Well I have to take care of myself too. I don’t deserve this mental game of staying for her. I will not go back into depression to withstand this kind of treatment. This is why I think I must separate. If she will not change for me, she must change for herself. She is on a road to self destruction. Weird that I am on the otherside of the coin. I will seek advice from therapist for clarity....
Posts: 139
Feb 10 13 7:41 AM
Feb 10 13 8:04 AM
Feb 10 13 11:32 AM
I had to reject her again last night. I have 2 more weeks before my next appointment with my psychiatrist. My wife aleady asked my this morning, ” You’re not going to leave me right? God help me.”
Feb 10 13 12:12 PM
Feb 10 13 1:15 PM
WW have have you discussed the fact that you had no intimacy for 8 years? Yes we have spoken at length.
Did your wife realise it was your D and not you who was rejecting her advances.
Yes, and that’s why the advances are coming at full force now.
During our dry spell I wondered was he gay, was he low in therosterone, I had no idea that he was covered up D until his MDE hit last year. Can I ask what age is she? 37
Us women are conscious of the ticking clock.
I have even discussed this with my therapist. I realize that my #1 concern for my therapist was my interests. My therapist
1. Never took a moral high ground
2. Always showed me my options
3. Always empathized with my situation
So she is concerned about my situation and how I can be in a better place to continue my therapy
Posts: 2252
Feb 10 13 1:48 PM
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