Hi everyone. I came across this forum because I was researching the topic "how to help my depressed boyfriend". One of the articles mentioned a support group with a link to this forum and well, here I am.
I have been seeing my boyfriend for almost seven years (we've known each other for eight and a half) and to be VERY honest - while it has by no means been an easy ride, I can't actually imagine a life without him and we both love each other to bloody bits. A year or two ago we were separated, but came back to each other because we simply couldn't stand being without one another and overall, in the big picture, things are going extremely well. We both have successful jobs, have done some traveling and we are in the process of buying a house!
However, my poor boyfriend has been struggling with intense depression for YEARS. It's not constant, it comes and goes - he will be okay for a few months at a time and then just suddenly, for seemingly no reason at all, he will just "relapse" and fall into a very, very dark place and go through a very painful and difficult episode of depression, anxiety and stress. Lately, things have been a bit up and down at work for him and he blames it on that, but it just keeps on getting more and more out of control. He becomes totally anti-social and very, VERY negative and obviously, won't get help because he believes nobody can ever help him ever. He completely resists all attempts to get him to go see a doctor and to go on some medication, which I suspect must be a man-thing because just about EVERY man I know thinks that therapy and treatment for mental illness is for sissies and unmanly.
The thing is, I am not at ALL unsympathetic to his plight because I suffer from anxiety and OCD, which I manage to keep under control (except when I'm having a period haha!) so I KNOW the ups and downs of these conditions. However, it doesn't make it at all easier and any less frustrating because it really REALLY breaks my heart to see the person I love the MOST go through something like this
Sometimes, I get so angry with him (and actually not with HIM, but with the illness and the situation) that I can't help but feel that he doesn't WANT to be helped and he doesn't WANT to get better

He is unbelievably talented and intelligent and sweet and albeit the most hardcore, headstrong bastard I know, he's the love of my life and helplessly watching from the sidelines as he battles with this is absolutely KILLING me. :'(
I don't know what to do anymore or where to turn, so here I am. All I know is that I don't want to lose him and I completely understood and accepted that I will be helping him deal with this for the rest of our lives when I went into the relationship, which is why I really don't want anyone telling me to leave him as it is just simply not an option. (I have enough anxiety about this coming between us already, thank you very much...)
Thank you everyone and anyone taking the time to read this
xxx
MLB
I have been seeing my boyfriend for almost seven years (we've known each other for eight and a half) and to be VERY honest - while it has by no means been an easy ride, I can't actually imagine a life without him and we both love each other to bloody bits. A year or two ago we were separated, but came back to each other because we simply couldn't stand being without one another and overall, in the big picture, things are going extremely well. We both have successful jobs, have done some traveling and we are in the process of buying a house!
However, my poor boyfriend has been struggling with intense depression for YEARS. It's not constant, it comes and goes - he will be okay for a few months at a time and then just suddenly, for seemingly no reason at all, he will just "relapse" and fall into a very, very dark place and go through a very painful and difficult episode of depression, anxiety and stress. Lately, things have been a bit up and down at work for him and he blames it on that, but it just keeps on getting more and more out of control. He becomes totally anti-social and very, VERY negative and obviously, won't get help because he believes nobody can ever help him ever. He completely resists all attempts to get him to go see a doctor and to go on some medication, which I suspect must be a man-thing because just about EVERY man I know thinks that therapy and treatment for mental illness is for sissies and unmanly.
The thing is, I am not at ALL unsympathetic to his plight because I suffer from anxiety and OCD, which I manage to keep under control (except when I'm having a period haha!) so I KNOW the ups and downs of these conditions. However, it doesn't make it at all easier and any less frustrating because it really REALLY breaks my heart to see the person I love the MOST go through something like this
He is unbelievably talented and intelligent and sweet and albeit the most hardcore, headstrong bastard I know, he's the love of my life and helplessly watching from the sidelines as he battles with this is absolutely KILLING me. :'(
I don't know what to do anymore or where to turn, so here I am. All I know is that I don't want to lose him and I completely understood and accepted that I will be helping him deal with this for the rest of our lives when I went into the relationship, which is why I really don't want anyone telling me to leave him as it is just simply not an option. (I have enough anxiety about this coming between us already, thank you very much...)
Thank you everyone and anyone taking the time to read this
xxx
MLB




