I am a smart, intelligent, fun, fairly ok looking, kind, caring person ... who has been treated, I think relatively objectively, like a piece of dirt by someone I love. Not necessarily the most uncommon of things perhaps, but insert the D bomb. Being ignored, not having a proper end to what actually was a great relationship - the love of my life, or so I thought - another woman, my uncertainty, confusion, sadness, disbelief, my still desire to have him and our relationship back despite my head asking the question "why would you want to be with someone who could so easily treat you this way?'. That question fights against what I know it was. Look after yourself, that's apparently the answer ... exercise, counselling, do things for you ... my question is ... WHEN DOES IT START TO GET BETTER? I'm so tired of the thoughts, constant analysis, questions, what ifs, going around on repeat in my brain. I need to be acknowledged, have my feelings recognised, perhaps thanked or even apologised to for what can only be described as disgraceful and quite simply cruel behaviour. And I still love him? It doesn't even make sense to me ... I feel like shaking myself and telling me to go get a life. If only I could take my own advice ...




