Long and miserable story short:
Married 18 years, have 2 teens. My DH got diagnosed with depression a little over a year ago. I had found excessive text messaging between him and another woman. We began marriage counseling, but then his psychiatrist advised we not discuss any marital issues, which still makes no sense to me. So he vacated the home August 2012, living at his brother's house, then our office building, then a friend's. I learned in August 2013 that he was involved with the same woman he had been texting, and that they are actually living together. All through this, up until I found out about them cohabitating, we were texting every day "I love you" and so forth. I don't know if he was conflicted or lying. He said he thought we should get a divorce when we were in a marriage counseling session in late May, but there had been no further talk of it for the next 2 months. He kept on with the "I love you"s even after that talk.
Of course I am conflicted and devastated. I don't know if I could ever take him back, which is moot because he's not asking anyway.
He did get psychoanalysis and medication. Early on in his treatment, he said his treatment opened to eyes to what our relationship was really like, and now he says that our relationship was the cause of his depression.
I know no one has a crystal ball, but I really wonder if he is all cured of depression, and especially now that he realizes that the root of the problem was me. I wonder if he is likely to have a relapse of depression with the new girlfriend. He has kind of tended to be an Eeyore even before we were married.
Anyone have any experience they care to share? Thanks.




